i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
