It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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