A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
