Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
