Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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