ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
