Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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