Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
