Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
