I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
