he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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