Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
