She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
