He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
