i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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