some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
