What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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