i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ladies don't puke and tell
how does that bad decision feel?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
