no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
this hospital has no fireball
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize