I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
