my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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