Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
