why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
