I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
