Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
