Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
