How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
