You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
