You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize