your parents love me but you hate me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize