I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she smelled like a LAN party
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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