So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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