Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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