he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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