Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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