I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
