she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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