I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
