We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
