Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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