I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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