I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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