And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize