I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Soap is not a condiment
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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