i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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