Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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