dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
