sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
