singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
