Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
