I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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