In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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