He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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