Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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