Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
