i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
