honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
