Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
