I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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