perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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