Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
