i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
