youre lurking in front of me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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