so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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