yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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