Whod you bang
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
